Spiritual Crypto
Spiritual Crypto
giving $10 million to social good orgs + healing the feminine by eating a lot of food
This is my human summary, and below the ** is the AI summary, which I left in unedited because it's weird/interesting.
In this episode I talk freely about my recent realizations re: eating whatever I want, and as much of it as I want, is key to healing the feminine in this body.
Detailing disordered eating recovery, and what I wish I knew before I spent 3 years on the ketogenic diet (including my experience with hormone disruption, which I discovered when I did an egg freezing procedure), and legit healing gluten intolerance and fatphobia.
I also share a way social good organizations can get free money while working with Seeds to build an alternative to late-stage capitalism via a $10 million mutual aid pool.
**
Have you ever wondered how balancing feminine energy could change your life and the world around you? Join me on "Spiritual Crypto" as I share my transformative journey from TikTok to YouTube, maintaining a calming, therapeutic vibe in each episode. This week, I focus on grounding feminine energy on Earth, recounting my struggles with physical health and restrictive diets like keto, and my mission to uplift feminine energy through creative and spiritual endeavors.
Navigating through high copper levels, H. pylori, and severe gluten intolerance, I learned the hard way that restrictive diets only go so far. Inspired by YouTuber Kayla Kotecki, I embraced the concept of "going all in" with unrestricted eating to rebuild trust with my body and reconnect with natural hunger cues. This path hasn't been easy, but it has led to overcoming food-related fears, tackling diet culture toxicity, and striving for genuine enjoyment of life in a healthier body.
On a larger scale, I explore innovative ways to channel cryptocurrency profits towards social good. Frustrated by the vast wealth accumulated by crypto enthusiasts, I propose partnerships with social enterprises and nonprofits to create a decentralized marketplace through Seeds. Imagine a $10 million mutual aid pool to support communities and creative projects, using crypto for meaningful change. I also share my vision of a YouTube series documenting the ups and downs of being a female cryptocurrency founder, aiming to inspire and break through systemic barriers. Join me on this journey of personal growth, social innovation, and the power of feminine energy.
If you'd like to learn more about Seeds, you're welcome to visit seedsgives.com, or check us out on Twitter (@seedstweets).
My YouTube channel is @transcendcapitalism. Come say hi!
I thought I'd do another episode of Spiritual Crypto. I was meditating when I got up today and the idea just came in my mind, even though I hadn't been thinking about doing this at all, and I got excited about it. So it seemed like it was something I should do and I just wanted to do it. And I like how these are, like you know, lo-fi, like I've been trying to put more effort into YouTube for the last almost four months now and I'm getting better at editing and whatever. And yeah, I just shifted my efforts from like I used to post on TikTok a lot and decided to come to YouTube instead because TikTok like the energy's not working there anymore. I can't reach people through TikTok anymore. And I like how, when I've done these spiritual crypto recordings in the past, I also assume like barely anyone would listen to them and if that changes as my audience grows, I want to try and not let it affect how I'm approaching these. So today I really wanted to come in like looking like I look with no makeup and sits and whatever, and like, yeah, and just talk. I always wanted to treat these as like a lo-fi, sort of like therapy session. So that's what I'm going to try to continue to do, and there has been a lot going on that I'd like to talk through and share. And the biggest sort of personal thing I guess is which relates to everything I'm trying to do through seeds and intersects with cryptocurrency and everything, because I'm so clear that feminine energy and supporting the grounding of feminine energy on earth and building new systems that actually have a healthy amount of feminine energy imbued within them, instead of an entire, like a total neglect of the idea of feminine energy whatsoever, like the old economic system has. Like I know that that's what I'm here to do and I'm trying. And something I was clear on for a while is that like connecting to this body, by which I mean the body that I am in my body, although it feels weird to call it my body, which is another philosophical conversation I guess we could have, but I have never felt dropped into it.
Speaker 1:I like being physically active. I'm a good natural athlete. I've always enjoyed being active and like played sports when I was a kid and whatever, but like I enjoyed it. And then as an adult, I liked running. I mean, I still like just any kind of athletic activity, but I would run. I've done like I don't know, maybe like 11 half marathons or so, and I did an army 10 miler that got rerouted because of a bomb threat, so it was like 11.2 miles instead. And I've done two marathons, and never very fast. I did one half. That was like at a sort of respectable time, but I'm just trying to share that. I could ground in my body enough to do those things and I enjoyed it. I liked working out. I think I'm also naturally strong.
Speaker 1:I liked lifting, and in the past few years my health has started to get fucked up and I didn't really understand what was going on. I'm not that old yet. I just turned 40. I didn't think, like it didn't occur to me, that I would be in something I would consider to be an unhealthy physical state at such a young age. And what I eventually realized is that a lot of what fucked it up was the keto diet and just generally being on restrictive diets for large portions of my life. And I know that I'm not. That's not atypical, especially for a woman in the West, because there's so much diet culture here, and also I mean, I know that in Asian cultures too, there's a lot of sort of a focus on not being fat. So it's certainly not like exclusive to the West, but what I'm trying to say is like I just didn't know, something I'm about to share that I think would help a lot of people. It would have really helped me if I knew it sooner, but I'm so glad I know it now. But to share the story in more depth, okay. So like I had also, like quote unquote, struggled with my weights, which is also fuck that too, because, like it's just what society says you're supposed to be. I'd mentioned this in something I recorded not too long ago, but when I got like a DNA test eventually it said that like, genetically I'm predisposed to being 5% over quote unquote overweight, and we all know that BMI is nonsense and it's whatever. So, generally speaking, fuck all of that cultural stuff.
Speaker 1:But at the same time I did feel like my body, for the most part as an adult and for most of my life, like not wanted to be thinner, but like something I couldn't land in it either. Like, so what I got clear on in recent years was that it just felt like I have to land in this body, like understanding, feminine energy and the experience on earth and stuff is so much about. I think in some ways about the tactile, about engaging with earth through the senses, and being in a female body has benefits in terms of allowing somebody to understand that, I think. But I also just feel so masculine and I know I have a lot of masculine energy in like my zodiacal chart and whatever my birth chart. It just felt like landing in this body was like key to progressing in the, through the next steps in what seems to be my life's mission, which is about uplifting feminine energy and doing that through seeds and then like through films that I want to make down the line and TV shows and stuff, artistic projects, and I just couldn't do it.
Speaker 1:And when I got on the keto diet I mean I researched it in advance and everything and I started it. It was in like thing and I started it. It was in like I think it was October of 2018. And I was living in South Pasadena at that time and I was what 34 years old and like. So I started the diet and the next year, earlier in the year, I went to France to go to clown school, which I later got kicked out of and continued the diet there and whatever.
Speaker 1:I got down eventually to a weight that I hadn't seen since I was about 15 years old and it wasn't the BMI chart would not say that it was too thin. It was probably a BMI too thin, it was probably a BMI I never like. I mean, I could calculate BMI and I had, but I never did like a DEXA scan to like actually see what body fat percentage was and stuff. Bmi wasn't lower than like 23. And like eating disorder people, I think, say you don't need to worry until it's like 18.5. So much lower than what I was at. But I also always carried extra muscle, just kind of have a little bit more muscle, I think. Then like naturally then maybe is typical for most females, I don't know whatever and I have like broad shoulders and stuff.
Speaker 1:And so I was on this diet and I got down to this weight and I did it without running. I wasn't like I mean, there are periods in my life where I was running seven miles every day, which also is disordered. It wasn't entirely something I was doing out of a healthy compulsion, so that's part of this too, but anyway. So I got down to that weight and then I started restricting my calories even more. I was aware that my maintenance calories seemed to be like 2,300 or so a day and I cut calories to about 1,700 calories a day and I was tracking meticulously and dropped more weight, and that's when I started to have all of these visible external problems.
Speaker 1:Suddenly, it seemed like I was intolerant of every food, like so many foods. I took these food intolerance tests and it was dozens and dozens of foods that I was apparently now having a reaction to. My armpits started itching a lot and I started having this insane, uncomfortable bloating and eventually, yeah, my hair started falling out. It wasn't like noticeable to other people falling out, it wasn't like noticeable to other people, but like chunks of it would come out and my menstrual cycle got way shorter and my period itself got shorter. So like I never lost my period, but it got way shorter. It was very different than it used to be and around that time, within that time period because I was on the keto diet for like three years before I understood that I needed to get the fuck off of it I did an egg freeze while I was still 36, just before I turned 37.
Speaker 1:And it was weird because it looked like things were going really well, especially, I guess, for like an almost 37-year-old. I had like 22 follicles that they thought could mature, so they thought they could get 22 eggs, which is good for somebody that age. And I was so responsive to the estrogen or whatever female hormones probably not just the estrogen, I don't remember every hormone I was on but they cut what's called the trigger shot in half. So before you go in for the procedure for anyone who doesn't know you give yourself what's called this trigger shot. Um, and it's what causes you to ovulate, like all 20 or whatever eggs at the same time, so that they can then like harvest them whenever you go in for the procedure, and I think you have to do that.
Speaker 1:I believe it was the night before I had to go in for like the morning of the surgery, and so they cut that shot in half because they thought I was so responsive that they were worried that if they kept it at like the typical dosage, that I would like ovulate too fast or something and they would lose all the eggs. And they fucked it up and they only ended up getting five eggs. Uh, they fucked it up and they only ended up getting five eggs, which was like very disappointing, but more than that, this made me start to become aware of what was going on for me hormonally and how out of whack my hormones had become as well. No-transcript and I can. If you are watching this and you want me to check to be more specific, I'm happy to do so.
Speaker 1:But yeah, just the hormones were out of whack and then I started taking supplements to help with that and then suddenly I had too much testosterone and I noticed that I was a lot angrier a lot of the time and it was just a mess and I couldn't figure out what was going on and I didn't trust like certainly traditional Western doctors to help. But I went to registered dietitians, and that's the thing too. I remember going to two different registered dietitians and the first one told me that I registered dietitians and the first one told me that I wasn't eating enough, and I didn't believe her, because how could I not be eating enough? Because I wasn't too skinny. And then the second one told me that I wasn't eating enough carbs and so I should share that.
Speaker 1:So gradually over time, with these health issues, I started to realize like it seems like I need to introduce carbs back into my diet, because on the keto diet you're eating like 20 net carbs a day, up to like 50 net carbs a day or so, but I kept mine pretty low and that's a really low amount of carbs and the body just isn't designed to be on a diet like that for a long, extended period of time. It's meant to be able to have that adaption because of periods of starvation where, like, glycogen sources weren't available. I guess that's how I understand this and I didn't know this. And so like so much in fucking like medical research, you know, just focuses on fucking men, so like there wasn't a lot of research out there about what this does to female bodies and I just didn't know. So it also wildly disrupted my hormones. So I did start introducing carbs back in.
Speaker 1:But then I started trying to figure out what was going on, because the bloating in particular was like the most uncomfortable thing and I was diagnosed with SIBO. What does that stand for? Small intestine something, something You're just bloated all the time and you're uncomfortable and it's pretty awful actually and I would treat it and then like it would go away but it would come back. And the second RD I talked to registered dietitian who told me I still wasn't eating enough carbs, which made sense. She was the only person of all these like professionals and specialists or whatever that I talked to, excuse me who made me understand that, like you get SIBO because your system, your digestive system, becomes depressed because you're not bringing in enough nutrients and so your body's like oh okay, that's not an essential system, we need to conserve energy for other purposes. So, like, your digestion just gets fucked up and so does your reproductive system, which is why, you know, people lose their periods, or, like in my case, my period just got a lot shorter and just was like way different and not healthy, like it had been for the entirety of my life up to that time. And I just didn't know. No one fucking told me. That registered dietitian at least helped me understand some stuff.
Speaker 1:But I remember at that point when I talked to her, I was also starting to gain weight and I didn't understand what was going on. And it was just coming on and it was like it wasn't stopping, but I thought maybe it was going to stop soon. I was getting like toward the upper end of a range that I had been in before, but it was just like I was. I don't know, I wasn't like freaked out, freaked out, but I didn't. You know, it was uncomfortable to just be gaining this weight and not knowing what was going on. And then on top of that, I had like back issues too. So exercise, like running seven miles, wasn't something that I could do anymore because my back was fucked up, so it was just whatever.
Speaker 1:And then I eventually found another holistic person I might even have talked about her before on this who like diagnosed high copper and H pylori and severe gluten intolerance and there probably was something else in there. So she started me on this like supplemental regime to address these issues and I felt a little better. But it also just like kind of didn't make sense because it was like I didn't used to be intolerant of gluten. I used to eat shit, tons of gluten and I like bread and whatever. And I didn't like this idea of like I'm just gonna used to eat shit, tons of gluten and I like bread and whatever, and I didn't like this idea of like I'm just gonna have to eat this way for the rest of my life, like what. And also there were other things like this person was like getting a percentage of the supplements that were sold and she wasn't transparent about that. So she was the best that I'd found, like the person who seemed to kind of understand what was going on to some extent, and she'd come from very restrictive diets in the past herself and was no longer on them. So that seemed right. It seemed like I needed to get away from that sort of restriction, but it still wasn't quite right, like. So, like in the last several months the last time I talked to her was maybe five or six months ago I kept thinking like, oh, should I reach out to her again and schedule another session? And I kept not doing it and I didn't quite understand why. And now I think it was just my intuition, recognizing that that wasn't right and I was needing to find the next, the true, healthy decision, whatever. Anyway, I'm sorry if this is boring, but like I just wish I had known this. I appreciate the journey and what I've learned going through this, but it would have been so nice if someone would have told me years ago what I ultimately found out was that I should do this thing.
Speaker 1:I found this through YouTube too, coming off of restrictive diets like I've been on forever. That explains the weight gain. My metabolism had gotten severely depressed and since I was eating carbs again and hadn't been eating carbs for years. My body was just like holding on to every bit of carb that I was giving it and it like would not release what it was holding on to because I had starved it for a long time and so it didn't trust me anymore. So I found these YouTube videos and many of them were like sort of not targeting, but they're speaking to the eating disorder community and I never thought of myself as someone who had an eating disorder. I was never thin enough to have an eating disorder and I never purged either.
Speaker 1:My form of purging would have been excessive exercise that was not done for healthy reasons entirely, and I'm so appreciative of them, especially Kayla Kotecki's Damn the Diets channel. She's so sweet and so feminine and so healed. You can really see. I really feel that I can see that she's come through it and she's so. She's really done a good job and she's just trying to share what she's learned with other people and she has a course now that she offers for free, because she sort of stepped away from her coaching business. It's just donation-based. It just felt really her energy feels really good to me and, yeah, it was just the same symptoms, even though she was like sort of much more extremely down a certain path. I mean, she'd come from an anorexic background and then she was like a fitness model and stuff like that and I hadn't gone that so far in that direction. Um, but also running seven miles every day, that's a lot of people think that that's a lot of exercise and it was, um, anyway. So she was suggesting what she was talking about would work.
Speaker 1:For her was like a phrase that some people use that I'm not really into is like quote unquote, going all in, and it just means like eating, just eat unrestrictedly and eat to satiety and just keep doing that and you're probably going to gain a bunch of weight to start, and then your body will eventually start trusting you again and it will start sending less hunger signals and then gradually the weight will come off till you're back in your set point range and then you'll just feel free, like you won't have to restrict, your body will just go wherever it wants to go, naturally, and you can like fucking live like kids. Do you know? Like when you're a kid and you're not yet indoctrinated into the awful way the world tells us that we have to be, and I really want to get back to that. I want to be free of this. I don't want to be restricting my whole life and I don't want to be carrying around a bunch of excessive weight. I just want to fucking enjoy being in this body and try and, you know, feel like a human being, because it's been hard enough to feel like I can find any sort of comforting feelings on earth as it is. I really just feel like an alien in a human body or whatever.
Speaker 1:So I started doing this. It was actually right around the Jupiter-Uranus conjunction, which is sort of interesting. It was right around a few days, I think, before, actually before April 20th I just started eating fully whatever I wanted to eat, and the other thing I haven't mentioned is that my hunger signals got fucked up too. So I wouldn't even feel hunger most days until like 2 pm, and that was, you know, a function of all of this. So, yeah, I started doing that. I was probably eating like 5,000 calories a day to start, and I'm already overweight. My body has already been holding on to these extra carbs for a while now and I haven't understood what was happening, and I even, you know I started like hypertrophy, training three times a week, lifting weights to try and build up muscle, to restore my metabolism.
Speaker 1:But the other thing is that the tiredness has been excessive and it's really gotten in the way of things For years now. I just would get so fucking tired and I could still function well enough to like people wouldn't really notice. I don't think, but it was just like truly interfering with my life, and in multiple ways, and so I wanted to come out of that too. So, yeah, I've just been eating and it's been interesting to see like my digestion has started to improve. The severe bloating is going away.
Speaker 1:I'm already no longer intolerant of gluten, which blows my mind like it went away very quickly. There's still something there, because gluten would make me really tired, and that's still happening to some extent. But y'all like. So how many people out there you know believe themselves to be gluten intolerant, when actually it's just this fucking it's because we've had these restrictive diets and you can get around it. So I hope more people become aware of that, like I did.
Speaker 1:And yeah, what else? My period is healthy again. My menstrual cycle is like back to what it used to be before, yeah, but my weight has gone up and I'm like y'all I'mall. I'm not weighing myself because it would freak me out too much and just make this process more difficult unnecessarily but I'm by far the heaviest I've ever been. I'm probably I don't even. I bet I've gained 25 pounds since I started doing this, like six weeks ago. 25 pounds since I started doing this like six weeks ago, and it's weird, but part of me is into like feel subversive.
Speaker 1:Part of me likes intentionally allowing my body to get as fat as it wants to get, as like a fuck you to society. Part of that is fun and it's really helping to address my internalized fat phobia and also my internalized ageism. I'm realizing because, like I don't, like I'm middle-aged now but I'm thinking like it seems like I look more middle-aged because I've gotten fatter. I'm revealing my internalized ageism as I speak and so it's helping me to confront that more so. And then just also internalized misogyny that has to do with like, oh, women aren't supposed to fucking, you're not supposed to be fat, and if you are fat, then like society hates you more and whatever. So that's kind of cool.
Speaker 1:I have had freak out moments, for sure, where, especially earlier on, where I was just like, oh, my gosh, like, this is the body I'm in now and I'm not going to get out of this body quickly, like it's going to take time for this weight to come off. But it's also really cool to just like y'all I just I mean, I'm sure this is familiar to so many people I was so I quote unquote hated my body. But the way I framed it I wasn't like you know how you hear like anorexic teenage girls talking about really hating their appearances. It wasn't like that. I just felt like I'm not a human. I felt like I have to be in this body. I resent that. I have to like deal with the limitations of being in a human body. Like that's how I framed it and now I'm not thinking that way anymore. I'm just thinking like this is really amazing. Actually, the body will just do this, it will just start healing itself if you just fucking feed it enough and that's so. It seems so obvious. But the prevalence of diet culture, which I'm only waking up to literally in the last month and a half, is so insane, and the idea that that's synonymous with health and whatever. So I'm going to see this through.
Speaker 1:It seems like my appetite is definitely tapering off and there was a period of time, like when I didn't have hunger signals in the morning. I did like what Kayla said, which was, like still make sure you get up and eat a full breakfast within 30 minutes of waking. So I started doing that, and after a relatively short amount of time, those hunger signals did come back, a strong physical sense of hunger, but I was also listening to the mental hunger. So, like if I thought about food, I knew that my body was telling me that it wanted me to eat it, and so I tried to as much as possible. Sometimes, though, I was so tired that it was hard to like get the food and like I don't have anyone here to help me and I would get delivery, but like then it's like capitalism and whatever, like it's so fucking expensive to get delivery all the goddamn time. So, yeah, so I was trying to honor that as much as possible.
Speaker 1:I did slip back into restriction at one point, just accidentally. It was like a busier work day and I didn't eat as big of a breakfast as I should have, and then I like really delayed my lunch, and so I caught it quickly, though and, you know, made sure to address it the next day. But I noticed that my body reverted right away. My physical hunger signal was no longer there in the morning the next day and, yeah, it was just like my body immediately believed that it was going back into starvation mode and it responded accordingly. Oh, and my digestion got worse. It slowed down again accordingly. Oh, and my digestion got worse. It slowed down again. So there was that.
Speaker 1:So I'm interested to see where this ends up. I mean, if I was eating 5,000 calories a day at the beginning, now I feel like it's probably closer, it's probably more like 3,000 to 3,500. I'm just less hungry and I'm starting to crave healthier foods again quote unquote healthier, but like more whole foods. In the beginning it was just like a lot of carbs, like carbs quote unquote healthier, but like more whole foods. In the beginning it was just like a lot of carbs, like carbs, carbs, carbs, shit. Tons of apple juice. I've been drinking a lot of apple juice and that's starting to peter off as well. So, yeah, and I'm real fat. I'm definitely in the obesity category, I would say, but I'm not going to get that measured. I'm going to let my body just find where it wants to be. I'm going to continue eating to satiety and I'm going to start introducing exercise that seems fun back in as soon as I have the energy.
Speaker 1:Because another thing I very recently went through like an extreme fatigue phase, which is apparently a phase that happens just as you're turning a corner toward the end, and I think I'm fortunate in that I seem to have gone through this process really quickly compared to a lot of other folks. For other people it can take years, but I think it's because I actually already have in a way, put in years of this leading up to this, because I started eating carbs again, probably a year and a half ago or something yeah, maybe more and so I started gaining weight. So my body has, it's been fucking gaining weight for a while. So I don't think it's like I'm just it wouldn't be as though somebody who's been restricting for a long time who then just suddenly starts and takes this approach. It feels like I was in quasi recovery, is what they call it. So it seems like I'm moving through this sort of committed recovery stage more quickly, I think. So we'll see where it ends up.
Speaker 1:But it's surprising because I had this sense that I would need to land in this body, like I was talking about before, to move to the next steps of my mission or whatever on earth, and a lot of that, I think, is about finding my collaborators, like my tribe, my soul tribe or whatever, and finding, like this partner that I think is coming, who's going to help me a lot with this life's mission, who I and I think I know who this person is. It's like a semi-famous person and it's not like I'm like, oh, I need a partner or whatever. It would be nice to have that if it's somebody who makes my life better. But unfortunately, like too many women, I think every partner that I've ever had in the past made my life harder and they were all draining relationships. So I like being alone. It's helpful, it's been more helpful. So it's not like a thing where I'm like, oh, I don't want to be alone or something. It's just like I have this intuitive sense that I'm going to meet this partner and it's going to help accelerate a lot of stuff.
Speaker 1:I think I had to be alone for a long time and really sort of become hyper independent in multiple ways that I didn't anticipate, to get ready for what will need to happen later. It almost feels like there's been this like weight or something holding me back and it has felt like energy's messing with me or something. But when that boulder or something clears, then I'll just be able to shoot up really quickly and sort of make more progress in these areas and do a lot more to help a lot more people. But I'm not to that stage yet. It's still especially lately in the last, yeah, since this, since the Jupiter-Uranus conjunction, really it feels like the energy's gotten more compressed again and I even see it in stupid ways, like on social media. It's like hard to make videos now that anyone watches. It's not like I have a large following on YouTube yet anyway, but it's showing what I'm sharing even less in the last like six weeks, which is kind of interesting.
Speaker 1:So what I'm trying to say is like I intuited that I needed to drop into this body to move through to the next things and, uh, it just never occurred to me that the way to do that was going to be to eat a fuck ton of food. I thought it was going to be about like, oh, get in shape, I'll like get really muscular and I'll lean out more and whatever, through restriction and because that's what I thought health was and that's what the fucking diet culture tells us health is and it's actually the opposite of that and that feels like it mimics a larger lesson of just like the feminine needs to be. The feminine is big, it's a huge energy, it's the creative energy. It's messy, it can be chaotic, it's fun, it's joyful, it is not compressed and it's not about being small and like fucking like. You know, like Capricorn energy, saturnian energy or something that like restricts you and confines you and we've been taught to do that to our bodies.
Speaker 1:And it certainly affected me and I think it affected me less than it's affected a lot of people. It's made so many women. It's affected all people, but I think women especially. It's made women fucking crazy and so much energy goes into hating ourselves because we're whatever. And then there's like plastic surgery is even more prevalent now and it's just like everybody is chasing this thing that in the root of it is about hating something about the feminine form and what you're given. And it's just like all of that energy. If we didn't have to put it toward that, if we weren't tricked into putting it toward that, then we could be fucking like over here expanding a system like seeds that is working to transcend the old system so we can get the fuck out of it. And it's a tragedy and I hope more of us start waking up to it soon.
Speaker 1:I'm going to try to talk about this more and I think I'll like try to make a better video, kind of documenting this process of weight gain for me and to see where things end up settling evening out. But yeah, it seems so obvious in hindsight. The feminine needs to be big, it needs to be well nourished, it needs to be taken care of, and I didn't think about doing that with my own female body. I was thinking that I needed to train this body and make it be different and restricted into being a different way, and it's the opposite thing that actually needed to happen and that makes so much sense. So, yeah, yeah, wow, like who? I just wouldn't have thought it was too brainwashed by the old system. So there's that on a personal level. And then I also just felt like sharing.
Speaker 1:I have this epiphany and it was on March 20th, I think it was, whatever. The first day of like the year is in the astrological chart, which didn't feel like a coincidence, is in the astrological chart, which didn't feel like a coincidence. I'm still in Portland, oregon, where I came for the winter, and it is a pretty good place, I think, to recover and heal, like I'm doing physically, as I was just talking about. So I'm going to stay, I think, until I feel just feel like my body has enough energy to do the next thing, just feel like my body has enough energy to do the next thing. And that's another thing I need to figure out in terms of where to go and whatever, because I don't know. Anyway, I keep having dreams about going back to New York and it kind of does seem like whatever the energies or something want me to go there, but it's going to have to show me how to do it and anyway.
Speaker 1:So on March 20th I think, I got this idea through a conversation with a bunch of like social entrepreneurs and like people that run nonprofits at this event in Portland, and, of course, all of them needed money. They were all worried about money and this was heading into the Bitcoin halving on April 19th April 20th, depending on where you are in the world and I had this idea where it was just like I'm so fucking tired of like crypto bros or whatever, getting rich in crypto and that whole gross energy and I fucking hate it. And I'm going to get. I know I'm going to get. I'm working on not being so pissed off about it, but I know it's going to make me so angry over the next 18-ish months when the market likely starts really getting going again. And I realized what if we set things up so that? So okay, if you're unfamiliar with this, through Seeds, we've created our own marketplace, which is possible on decentralized platforms like Uniswap, and in order to do that, we've had people add liquidity to the marketplace in a seeds-ether pairing. So you need to have seeds and you need to have ether and then you can share that essentially with the marketplace. You retain custody of your money, unlike at a bank, and you can earn fees and then you can get airdrops and you can get bonuses and all this other shit. So it's like it's kind of amazing. Actually, I'm really.
Speaker 1:There isn't a lot in the world generally, and certainly in the world of cryptocurrency, that I feel impressed with. Frankly, I just feel like I came from somewhere else, that where stuff was less remedial. A lot of everything here feels remedial to me. Maybe that makes me sound like an asshole, but just how fucking feel like it just doesn't feel like. It feels like, you know, if you're from a small town and you move to the big city and you're like, oh wow, people here are so much more evolved and they're so much more thoughtful and they're smarter, and generally I found that to be the case. There are small towns where that isn't so true. Certainly for sure, although in those small towns, a lot of times, it's people that left cities that came to those small towns. In my experience and it's not true across the board, there's smart people everywhere, whatever.
Speaker 1:But like, I just feel like earth is like that. It's like I'm in the small town, I can't leave it. I have to live it out in this life and do the best I can, and part of that is fucking accepting things and not being so judgmental of them and not being so angry about them. So I'm working on it, but where was I going with this? Yeah, okay, so we've created the seeds marketplace in this way and there's going to be all this annoying crypto bro energy again, for sure, but they're also going to make a fuck ton of money and I just like I can't bear it. I really can't handle it. Like that was the first TikTok I ever made. That actually got seen Me talking about how I can't stand if more like douchebags are the ones who are making so much money in cryptocurrency. So, and that was in the last cryptocurrency cycle that was in 2020 that I made that TikTok, anyway.
Speaker 1:So I had this idea. I realized what if we did this thing where, so, at Seeds, we've had to create our own marketplace, had to deal with misogyny and tech 98.1% of tech investment goes to men, goes to the things that men have founded. That's made things a lot harder for me and for seeds. I've had to be more resourceful, blah, etc. It's kept seeds smaller than it would have been if we had more support, like undoubtedly. Um, that doesn't mean I've been perfect. That doesn't mean I haven't made mistakes, blah, etc. Of course, I've made lots of mistakes. I'm always trying to be honest with myself about where I fucked up and to work to improve. So there's that too.
Speaker 1:So it just occurred to me, like, okay, what if we did this thing where, like, we just incentivize social enterprises, slash nonprofits to be a part of this cryptocurrency cycle and, at the same time, we could grow the seeds pool so that, like, the market is bigger and that's what allows us to help people in need. We can send funds to people in places like South Sudan who don't have bank accounts, because they do have internet access, and they can use this pool that we've created, because all you need to access it is an internet connection. So I had this idea like, all right, we could do this thing where, like say, whatever it is a charity, social enterprise, whatever puts up $25,000. We'll incentivize them to use that $25,000 to buy Ether and then we will give them $25,000 worth of seeds and we will ask that they then add that liquidity, that total of $50,000. So we've doubled their money already to put that into the seeds Ether pool. And again, they retain custody of those funds and then they're earning fees on the funds and they can get airdrops and potentially bonuses as well. And then on top of that, of course, if the cryptocurrencies go up in value, which it sure fucking looks like is going to happen it's already happening, the Ether ETF was just approved a few days ago Then they're going to have a lot more money. We would just want them to hold on to that and not sell everything for at least 18 months, in large part because that's history has shown us that that's roughly been when new all-time highs have been met Roughly 18-ish months, 12 to 18 months after a Bitcoin halving, and the most recent Bitcoin halving was again April 19th. So it's a really good, it's an amazing deal. It's such a good. It's a really good idea, y'all. It's a really good idea.
Speaker 1:And I got I thought at first like okay, it'd be cool to do this in Portland, to like do a pilot in Portland. And I got the idea after going to this like social entrepreneur coffee that I was invited to with a. There were only a handful of people there, like a select group. I'd met the guy who seems to be like the most connected tech guy in Portland or whatever, and he invited me. So I thought I'd start with them.
Speaker 1:But what I quickly found, which was such a huge fucking bummer is that Portland business shit or whatever, is like passive, aggressive as hell. It was really weird. I wasn't prepared for it. I think it's because I mean the people like if you just walk around and go to the store, if you've never spent time in Portland, the people really are nice. They're the nicest of anywhere I've been in the world, I would say. And it's real, if you're just like having sort of like general interactions with people out and about.
Speaker 1:But there was just this passive, aggressive, fucking waste my time, energy in quote unquote business, and I really think it's because so many people here from the Midwest, like where I grew up, where I grew up, was passive, aggressive as hell, and I just can't. It's just such a waste of everybody's energy and time if you do that. But I was really like I just didn't see that coming. It's a major city, right. It's like there's sophisticated people here. There are people that are trying to do good things, smart people.
Speaker 1:It just didn't occur to me that that would be a problem, and so I quickly realized like, okay, this can't get done in Portland, which is a huge fucking shame. And that's the thing too with the markets and I know it's going to go like this and I need to not be frustrated about it. But it's like I'll try to convince these social good organizations like yo do it now, please do it now, because it looks like the market's going to go up a ton, it's going to benefit you more now. But that's the thing People that aren't quote unquote like experienced traders, they don't see that They'll be the ones that are like, oh shit, I should get involved now that it's already up a ton, and then you miss the big move and I'm not going to, in good conscience, feel that I can approach this in the same way in like a year and a half. Right, like making this offer to a social good organization in a year and a half, it's probably going to be a different thing, based on what we know about the market cycle history. If they're agreeing to it in 18 months, I'll have to figure out how that would work whenever we come to that period in time, anyway. So I started to do that.
Speaker 1:People were certainly interested at first, but then they're just like they would like blow me off, or like some of them didn't even get back to me, which was so weird. These people are spending so much fucking time like applying for grants and shit like that, and like I'm literally saying like, hey, we'll give you tens of thousands of dollars, if not more. All you got to do is buy ether and hold it and like, yeah. So I'm trying to figure out how to approach this and I think what's been occurring to me in the last couple of days is that I think what we need is a partner who is really smart and really kind and really respected in sort of like the world of philanthropy, who people already trust, who could then sort of be like the spokesperson for this for us, and I can be in on those conversations as well. But then that's the other thing.
Speaker 1:I've never worked at a nonprofit or a charity, so I don't I mean I volunteered before but like I don't know, I don't have a deep understanding of like all of those conditions or what they're going through. I just know what I've seen in interactions with folks. So somebody who had a better understanding of that could probably approach folks in a better way. But I mean, certainly there's interest initially, like I think if we reach out to 50 organizations with like a warm introduction, I think like virtually all of them would at least want to discuss the opportunity. But that isn't the way to structure it either, right? Like people that are trying to offer them grant money are trying to get them on the phone to like you know, it's like a different thing. And like there's still that supply and demand thing where, like if they think it's, if they feel like they're trying to be sold on a thing, then like they're more skeptical, skeptical of it and it's just like it's the fucking what's the word? The fucking shitty legacy of capitalism.
Speaker 1:A lot of times people don't believe what seats is like. They don't believe it's true because it sounds too good to be true, or something. What seeds is like they don't believe it's true because it sounds too good to be true, or something. And that's been a struggle and it's really annoying. So, yeah, on top of this, we're starting to see more like meme coin whatever happening, and like I'm just already getting like, like how do I make sure, how do I help people not miss out on this? What do I do and how do I? I need to meditate more so that I'm not so frustrated about it. And then there's stuff for seeds on top of that because, like I need to find we don't have the people involved yet. That can take us to the next level.
Speaker 1:I don't think I appreciate all the support that we've had so far, but like I mean it breaks my heart when somebody who, like took our course and like has received enormous bonuses from seeds like this person the other day they'll just if they're not doing anything to help or give and if they're not, like adding liquidity to the seeds pool. That was the wrong person for us to connect with, because they've just taken from it and they haven't given back even as much as they've taken and obviously nothing can sustain if too much is being taken from it, and I think that's a function of like. I think about this idea of like, how founders have like their personality, flaws and the stuff they haven't healed yet shows up in the organizations that they're making. And that's true of everything. I think it's true in your art, it's true if you're running a small business, it's true at tech organizations and a lot of big tech organizations. That ends up being like, you know, the founder's a sociopath and we have to deal with his misogyny and whatever.
Speaker 1:For me, I have many things I still need to heal, but I think something that's shown up that has affected seeds in relation to this comes from growing up in a narcissistic household where I was the scapegoat kid where I would really try a lot to help the people that had no interest in what I was saying or sharing, who hated that I was quote, unquote truth telling, and I've kind of found that through seeds. I found people that don't appreciate me and what I'm offering and like don't understand it and aren't interested in understanding it and that you can't grow, if that's what you found right. So, like I've definitely healed it more, so I'm much better at discerning when that's going on and setting boundaries sooner, not putting a bunch of energy into that. But it's the same thing in my personal life where, like I made this video around my 40th it was on my 40th birthday where I talked about, like how I'm alone. It feels like it's been this journey of like setting boundaries around that energy I grew up around, which was this narcissistic energy and this draining energy, and I mostly set the boundaries. I'm still kind of drained. I'm healing the physical elements of this now. I think when my body is healthy and I'm no longer tired all the fucking time, that's going to make a big difference in sort of like, when I'm manifesting and how I'm showing up in the world and stuff. Difference in sort of like when I'm manifesting and how I'm showing up in the world and stuff. But I haven't yet been able to connect with those people that will really uplift and support and just be joyful and make things really fun and help us shift into a stage where, like this is really helping a lot of people, a lot of the time at large scale.
Speaker 1:So what I hope to find is so we need to connect with those social good organizations. If you have one or you know one, let us know. If you want a gift from Seeds and you are interested in putting up ether and holding it and being a part of this, then it's like our mutual aid pool. It's a mutual aid pool for everyone who's needed help. It's there for folks to use and folks have used it and, like we can do this, we can create this alternate source together for social good organizations so that anytime someone buys seeds, it's helping every social good organization that has been a part of that and it's helping the larger community which has served people in need now for years.
Speaker 1:And I want us to get the pool to $10 million. That's like the number I've had in my head, the goal I want to manifest, and that's such a small number compared to so many other fucking cryptocurrency projects that are nonsense, bullshit, whatever fucking meme coins and stuff, and so I have to work on not being pissed off about that, but I want to share that as a frame of reference. That's small $10 million is very small for a pool and we could do it, and seeds will give money to people to help with this, and you're not going to find that in any other cryptocurrency, with any other project that I'm aware of for sure, and there are virtually no other projects that are about helping people in need. None have done anything remotely like Whatseeds has done to my knowledge. So, yeah, you could hear me talking about it, though Like I need to not be exasperated, as I'm describing it and I'm working on it.
Speaker 1:I'm meditating more and things are shifting. I'm working on it. I'm meditating more and things are shifting. I can feel them shifting. Oh, it's like really raining outside. Now. You know people talk about how, like Portland is a drag because it like rains so much, but like I'm into it. I really like it's so cozy and nice and it's so green. Oh, y'all like, after being in California, southern California especially, for years and years, it's so nice to be somewhere that's just so green and it's so the plant life is so it's beautiful, it really is. I can't wait till I'm physically in better shape and I can just like go out and be in nature more so here. I really would love to take advantage of that, and I have my bike here. Got my bike like shipped here from storage. Um, I need to fix the tire, but I like really want to ride my bike around a lot. Yeah, the rain's really nice. I like the rain. It's cozy, it doesn't bother me, it hasn't felt like too much rain to me at all, so I guess I'll stop this here.
Speaker 1:Thank you for listening to me. Vent, if you listen to this, and yeah, I feel better. It's like huh, it's almost like I. When I was younger, I used to be more like fuck this, like vocally, like people knew my stance was like fuck this or something, and through maturation, as I've matured, I do that less. Um, but there's something that's unhealthy about it. There's still something that's suppressed and I need to find a way, um. But then there's also, like the, the idea of like right speech. So like, if you're saying something that's negative, that's not helpful, it's actually breaking Sheila, which is like the foundation of your meditation practice. I don't know. What I'm just trying to say is that there's some energy in me that's getting suppressed relating to that, because I'm less like fuck this all the time than I used to be and I need to figure out a way to like channel it differently in a healthy way or something. I mean comedy can help with that. But like, that's another whole other thing I guess I'll talk about another time Because, beyond these things that I described today health stuff and then getting the seeds pulled 10 million I mean the seeds product needs to improve as well.
Speaker 1:And then I want to start fucking work on working on my artistic projects, which are like the reason seeds exist. Like seeds, I want seeds to be supporting creative projects for people on a large scale, now that I want people to be getting out of survival mode so that they can start thriving, and when you're in that space, you tend to want to create. So there's that. I think I might start making a series on YouTube where I'm talking about, like, what it's like to be a female cryptocurrency founder or whatever, and I'll just share about what we're looking at, because the thing is like, what I've noticed before is that, even when institutional, fucking patriarchal bullshit, toxic, masculine whatever really limits the resourcing available to the feminine, because they're still gatekeeping shit and seeds is still, uh, a victim of that to this up to this point in time, but, like, seeds is working to transcend that. But it's like we have to go through this like bottleneck, this like narrow fucking birth canal, to get to the other side.
Speaker 1:Um, what am I trying to say? I'm trying, I totally lost my train of thought. Oh okay, so I thought I'd make this series because I've noticed with like women. Oh okay, so I thought I'd make this series because I've noticed with like women, even when that's the case, if they have a platform where they can talk to a lot of people, they can get around that limitation. So I think if I share like I'm thinking about like Oprah, for example, or something so I think if I start trying to share very transparently about what seeds is looking at in terms of challenges and what I'm thinking about and progress we're making on a regular basis, it'd be fun and it'd just be a way for me to sort of like be accountable to myself and to anyone who's watching the videos and just share about what it's actually like, and I think it'd be fun. And then it could like connect, hopefully, with more people who want to help us so that seeds can grow and support more people and get more people out of the trap of late stage capitalism. So I think I'm gonna do that too.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think that's it for now. I'll stop recording. I appreciate y'all so much for listening and yeah, if you want to support seeds, you're always very welcome to make a gift to help someone in need and you'll get seeds, cryptocurrency and thanks. If you want to buy seeds on Uniswap, that's helpful too. And also, as mentioned, providing liquidity and the seeds ether pool is also helpful and all of these things can benefit you as the cryptocurrency market goes up and it looks like we're at the very beginning, near the beginning of that cycle, of that stage in the cycle, so I really, really, really want nice people to take advantage of it this time. Okay, that's all for now. I'll catch you later.